What Do You Do When the Cost of Success Is Too High?
By Heidi Sadecky, PCC – Executive Coach & Director, Townsend Leadership Program
What Do You Do When the Cost of Success Is Too High?
Do you ever feel like you’re winning at work but losing in the places that matter most?
Do you show up for your family, your friends, and your church — but feel like you’re not really there?
Do you sense that something has to change, but you can’t put your finger on what it is?
If so, you’re not alone.
Meet Nate
Nate had all the signs of success: a senior executive role in a respected company, financial security, a beautiful home, and a family he loved deeply.
But beneath the surface, he was struggling.
At work, his team depended on him for every decision. He was in back‑to‑back meetings all day and still answering emails late at night. He told himself it was because he wanted things done right — but deep down, he knew it was exhausting him.
At home, it was even harder. His wife felt distant. His teenage daughters barely spoke to him. Even when he was physically present, his mind was still running through to‑do lists and replaying work conversations. He still went to church most Sundays, but his heart wasn’t in it. How could it be? His mind was already on Monday’s meetings — replaying conversations, planning presentations, and bracing for the week ahead. His faith was important to him, but lately it felt like something he was squeezing into an already overstuffed schedule.
The Hesitation
When his division president suggested leadership coaching, Nate initially felt stung but brushed it off.
“I don’t have time for that,” he told himself.
Besides, it felt indulgent to spend time and energy on himself when his family and his team needed more from him.Even when his company offered to cover the cost to participate in an E4 Leadership Group, Nate hesitated. If the division president thought he needed this, maybe there was more to the problem than he wanted to admit. Still, he worried about taking time away from work and was convinced the real problem was his team — if they would just step up, his life would be easier.
The Turning Point
When Nate finally decided to invest in coaching, he joined the E4 Leadership Program. In the first weeks — the Equip and Explore stages — he began uncovering something surprising: he was the bottleneck.
For years, he believed his team’s lack of initiative was the issue. But as we worked through the early sessions, Nate realized how often he stepped in to “save” situations, answer questions others could have handled, or re‑do work to make it “perfect.” What he thought was helping was actually keeping his team dependent — and draining him in the process.
As the program moved into the Experience and Excel stages, things began to click. In one meeting, he caught himself before jumping in and simply asked, “What do you think is the best next step?” His team surprised him with thoughtful solutions, and relief washed over him. These small but powerful shifts started stacking up.
One of the most impactful parts of E4 for Nate was the opportunity to process these changes with peers in his group. Over four months, meeting once a month plus private coaching in between, Nate had a safe space to share struggles, celebrate wins, and hear honest feedback from leaders who understood his challenges. He realized he wasn’t alone — and that made all the difference.
The Transformation
By showing up consistently — both for the monthly group sessions and private coaching — Nate began leading in a completely different way.
In month two, he was delegating more and checking in less. By month three, he was protecting quiet time for strategic thinking. His team was solving problems on their own, and his constant sense of urgency began to fade.
At home, the changes were just as visible. His wife noticed he was truly listening again, not just nodding while mentally drafting an email. His daughters started talking more at the dinner table, knowing he was fully present. Even Sundays at church shifted — he wasn’t just attending; he was worshipping with a clear mind and an open heart.
Nate’s transformation wasn’t about doing more. It was about leading differently — with trust, clarity, and connection. And that shift rippled into every area of his life.
The Takeaway
Leadership growth isn’t just about better results at work.
It’s about becoming the kind of leader people trust, respect, and want to follow — whether they’re colleagues, friends, or family.
When you grow as a leader, you gain more than time. You gain stronger relationships, deeper trust, and the peace of knowing you’re leading well in every part of your life.
Your Next Step
This fall, a new E4 Leadership Group will begin. It's a small, high‑impact coaching experience for leaders who are ready to step out of overwhelm and into confident, purposeful leadership.
In E4, you’ll learn how to:
Stop being the bottleneck for your team
Build trust so your people step up with confidence
Communicate with clarity and empathy
Strengthen your most important relationships — at work, at home, and in your faith community
E4 programs are intentionally small, and I take care to ensure each group is made up of compatible, like‑minded leaders who will grow together in a supportive environment.
To explore whether the fall E4 group is the right next step for you, I invite you to schedule a time to talk with me directly.
Heidi Sadecky is a trusted executive coach who partners with leaders to unlock their full potential. Her mission is to help leaders understand their unique behaviors and decision-making patterns, empowering them to avoid costly mistakes and lead with confidence, authenticity, and emotional intelligence. Heidi holds a master’s degree in Organizational Leadership and multiple high-level certifications, including Emotional Intelligence (EQi and EQ360). Learn about workplace training programs here.